Hump Day Reflections

Today didn't start out as I had hoped. You know we make our plans and God directs our steps. Still it was a perfect day. I had the privilege of waking up with a sweet angel in my bed who lavished me with kisses. Just now I wanted to jump in bed, but I stopped to watch her sleep peacefully. Somedays I can't even believe she is here. Last night, I looked at some videos the hubby and I recorded of her and tears began to roll down my face. I remembered how I hated the taste of them with each disappointment and miscarriage. I recall wanting to hurt a particular doctor after he informed us that I was no longer with child. I prayed that God would remove his license. This doctor told me that my womb was like a box of shoes and that my box no longer had any shoes. Forgiveness at that time was difficult. I also recall trying to get through my prayers in the morning and having to commit that to the Lord. I asked for strength to endure on those days when despair would surround me and try to swallow me. I would see pregnant women smoking and want to scream it isn't fair. But God! Who truly loves everyone of His children. He revealed to me in a dream that I would be a mother, I was holding my baby and playing with her toes. That is why I had several pictures of baby feet. What you look at longest becomes strongest...I heard Paula White say that once.It was that dream/vision and a promise that helped me through. I don't know if the enemy brought so much doubt to my hubby but I needed anything to get me through baby showers and mother's day. So I clung to a verse I read in the bible. (Romans 4:20-21) I painted our story on the door to the baby's room as a reminder and illustration to my daughter of this very scripture.We were standing on God's word! We prayed, believed and confessed we would be parents since 2002 and that promise from God didn't become a reality until 2006. Friends, family and church members stood in agreement with us for our child. God's time really isn't our timing. As for these storms or rainy days in my life, God has been with me through them all. The morning I was born it rained before the sun peeked out from the clouds. I found out I was pregnant during Hurricane Rita and Skylar was potty trained during tropical storm Edouard. All I know is God is in control and ever so faithful.